


Backtrack

by TheGreyLady



Category: Harry Potter and Durarara!!/デュラララ!! crossover
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-25
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreyLady/pseuds/TheGreyLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being Sorted into different Houses ruined their friendship. Now they have a chance to fix things, but Kida's still a pureblood Slytherin, and he's not supposed to be friends with Muggle-born Gryffindors - let alone fall in love with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

" _Y-you can do it too?"_

" _Do what?"_

 _Mikado's hands were behind his back. He kicked at the dirt with the toe of his sneaker and whispered, "Magic."_

 _Kida-kun just looked at him. "Well, duh, of course I can do magic! I'm a wizard."_

" _A wizard?" Mikado's eyes widened. "But—there's no such thing…"_

" _Yeah there is, because I am one, and so are you. My parents are too. Aren't yours?"_

" _N-no… I don't think so." Mikado bit his lip._

" _So you're Muggle-born? Cool! Muggles are people who can't do magic," Kida-kun explained, seeing Mikado's confused look. "And my parents say Muggle-borns usually aren't as good at magic, but my parents are stupid. Do you want to come play at my house?"_

 _Mikado allowed himself a small smile. "Okay."_

—

" _You're seven? When's your birthday?"_

" _M-March twenty-first," Mikado stammered._

 _Kida grinned. "I turn seven in June! That means we'll go to Hogwarts the same year!"_

" _H-Hogwarts?"_

" _Oh, right, you live with Muggles. I keep forgetting. Hogwarts is the bestest, most wonderfulest place in the_ whole world. _It's where you go to learn magic! And they have classes about turning things into other things and making potions and learning about boring Muggles—no offense—and taking care of magical creatures and all_ sorts _of stuff! And there's a_ humongous _lake, and a giant squid lives in it, and there's a forest and all sorts of bad stuff is in there—like werewolves, and—"_

" _Werewolves?" Mikado's mouth was hanging open in shock. "Werewolves are real?"_

" _Of_ course _they're real! And unicorns, and centaurs, and lots of other cool stuff. Boy, you sure have a lot to learn, Mikado. It's a good thing we met. I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know about being a wizard!"_

" _Th-thank you," Mikado said shyly. Then he bit his lip worriedly. "But what if I don't get into Hogwarts?"_

" _You will! Everybody who can do magic goes to Hogwarts. My mum and dad went, and all my aunts and uncles and everything."_

" _When will I know?"_

" _Usually they send a letter in July before your first year. We start when we're eleven. The Hogwarts Express comes every year on September first at eleven o'clock in the morning!"_

" _Wow." Mikado's eyes sparkled. "I can't wait."_

" _Me either! And the best part is that we'll get to live together!"_

" _R-Really?"_

" _Well, we will if we're in the same House, but either way we'll have classes together and all sorts of stuff… and I finally get to get away from my stupid parents."_

" _K-Kida-kun!" Mikado scolded. "You shouldn't talk about your parents like that."_

" _Well, they_ are _stupid. It's not my fault."_

—

"… _Associate with that boy_ , _of all people, Masaomi, I simply won't put up with it any longer!"_

" _But Father—"_

" _No buts, Masaomi. It's been fine up until now, but I won't have you tarnishing our family name by letting yourself be seen with a_ Mudblood."

 _Mikado winced. He knew that word. He considered going home, but Kida-kun had told him a million times that it didn't matter what his parents said—they would always be best friends. And now that they were going to Hogwarts together—Mikado clutched the heavy parchment letter in his fist fiercely—Kida-kun's parents could interfere with their friendship even less than they always had. Working up his courage, Mikado knocked on the door._

 _The yelling coming from inside the house fell silent. Footsteps sounded, muffled, and then the door opened, Kida-kun's frown leaving his face instantly when he saw Mikado, replaced by a wide grin. "Hey!"_

" _Hi," Mikado said, returning the grin shyly. "Look!" He held up the letter. "I got my Hogwarts letter!"_

" _Me too!" Kida-kun took his hand and tugged him inside. "Come up to my room. We should go to Diagon Alley together!" He shot his father a mean glare as they passed._

 _When Kida-kun shut the door behind them, Mikado frowned and said, "You shouldn't be rude to your dad like that."_

" _I don't care. He was being a jerk. You heard us arguing, didn't you?"_

 _Mikado looked away. "Yeah. I didn't mean to eavesdrop—"_

" _No big deal. He was yelling, it's his fault you heard him. Look, Mikado." Kida put a hand on Mikado's shoulder. Mikado's stomach fluttered. "My dad's a jerk, and you're my best friend. I won't let him mess that up. And in a month, we're going to Hogwarts, and it won't matter anymore. Right?"_

"… _Right." Mikado smiled. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't worry. I'm just being silly."_

" _Yeah, you are. Best friends forever, remember?"_

" _Definitely."_

—

"Hey, Mikado."

Mikado grumbled and tugged his pillow over his face.

"Mikado! Come on, you need to get up if you want to shower before breakfast."

Reluctantly, Mikado sat up and saw James Potter, his fellow Gryffindor fifth year, standing with arms crossed at his bedside. "Morning," he said sleepily.

"Morning to you too. What's with you today? You always get up on time."

Mikado shrugged and swung his legs over the side of his bed, stretching until his back popped.

"Seemed like you were having a bad dream."

"I…" Mikado looked at his hands. "I was."

James sat down beside him. "Wanna talk about it?"

"You've heard it before."

"Oh." James sighed. "That Kida bastard again. Mikado, it's been two years since you last spoke."

"I _know_ that. It's just hard. We'd been best friends since we were seven. He promised me he'd never let his family get in the way of that… and now…" He shrugged. "I can't help thinking about it sometimes, and it… still hurts a lot."

"I want to give that guy a good kick up the ass, I hope you know."

"I know. You've only told me a thousand times," Mikado said dryly. "I'll go shower, then. Don't leave without me."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Mikado had certainly _tried_ to forget about Kida. And it wasn't as if he hadn't had any success. The dreams were less frequent now, and his chest didn't ache quite as much at the thought of his former best friend. He was still managing to enjoy life and carry on with his schoolwork without Kida.

It was better than when Kida had first stopped talking to him. Mikado hadn't left his bed for a week, insisting on moping about and enlisting the help of a house-elf to bring him chocolate. Eventually James had dragged him into the shower, telling him he was acting like a heartbroken teenage girl—which was, pathetically, two-thirds accurate—and taken him on his first ever trip to Hogsmeade. It had helped, a lot, but it was impossible not to feel the occasional twinge, even after two years.

Mikado supposed it was partially due to how often he was forced to be in Kida's presence. Despite being in different Houses, they often had classes together and were sometimes even put in the same workgroups in Herbology or Potions, which made lessons incredibly awkward and always left Mikado feeling pangs of loneliness for days afterward.

Once he'd showered, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and gotten dressed, Mikado and James started toward the Great Hall, Mikado still fixing his scarlet and gold tie around his neck.

"What've we got today?" James asked absently. Mikado knew it was just something to fill the silence with; it was almost ritual to ask what their schedule was for the day, even though they both knew it by heart after a month of being in school.

"Transfiguration in the morning, Charms after that, Defense this afternoon, and double Potions."

"Ugh, with the Slytherins."

"Don't remind me," Mikado said quietly as they took seats at the Gryffindor table. He looked across at the table on the opposite end of the hall and sought a dyed-yellow head. His eyes scanned up and down the table, and finally—there was Kida, talking to another Slytherin, a girl—Saki, he thought her name was.

Kida glanced away from her, eyes drifting over the other tables until they inadvertently met Mikado's. Kida looked at him for a moment, then tore his gaze away, sharing with Saki the smile Mikado had had all to himself two years ago. The achy feeling returned to his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mikado had double potions with the Slytherins every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; for this, and for many other reasons, it was by far his least favorite class. Not worst was a professor who was Head of Slytherin and maintained some of his House's old prejudices against Muggle-borns, nor the complete lack of talent Mikado showed in this area of magic. Afternoons spent in the heady aroma of twenty potions brewing mixed with the dank smell of the dungeon meant entire afternoons spent mere feet from Kida Masaomi.

Worse still, Kida was _fabulous_ at Potions, and Mikado always felt like an utter failure in comparison. He was, he hated to admit, _embarrassed_ to look like an idiot in front of Kida—he didn't want his former best friend to think badly of him. He knew it was stupid to want Kida's approval when they hadn't been friends for two years. Still…

 _Still nothing,_ Mikado told himself fiercely. _It's his fault we're not friends anymore, and I have to stop letting this control me._

That was easier said than done, though, and Mikado hated the nervous feeling in his stomach when he saw Kida walk into the classroom. James, on his other side, nudged him and frowned. Mikado gave him an uneasy smile and looked back at his cauldron.

The Slytherins, at least, generally sat on the other side of the room, so the hot feeling of Kida's near presence was dulled. It was a small comfort.

"We're working on the Draught of Peace today," Professor Slughorn told them all in a jolly voice. "A titchy little potion, so pay close attention to the directions. Ingredients are in the store cupboard as always, directions are on the board. Begin."

Mikado sighed. Potions of average difficulty were bad enough, but Professor Slughorn had made this one sound like it was especially hard. This was going to be disastrous.

"You'll be fine, I won't let you blow anything up," James promised.

—

James Potter, Mikado thought later, needed to stop making promises he couldn't keep.

Because really, there was no guaranteeing Mikado wouldn't blow anything up, no matter how much whispered help James gave him from the next cauldron over. Especially when Mikado ended up at a table sitting directly across from Kida.

He found himself watching, fixated on Kida's hands as they deftly added ingredients, stirred, brought the potion to the perfect color. Kida's was already turning a pleasant turquoise; Mikado looked down at his and nearly panicked when he saw it was a smoky, dark charcoal.

Oh dear, oh dear — he was used to be awful at potions, but usually it was because he was just _awful at potions_ , not because he let himself get distracted by… other people. He glanced at Kida again, whose mouth was set in a hard line, and quickly went back to his potion.

 _He noticed me watching him,_ Mikado thought miserably. _I'm such an idiot…_ He flipped through his textbook, looking to see what he'd missed.

In his haste, Mikado's arm knocked his porcupine quills across the table, into Kida's work area. In what was obviously a fit of frustration, Kida yanked out his wand murmured a Banishing Charm. The porcupine quills shot back toward Mikado, a few barely missing his face.

The next thing Mikado knew, a cloud of black smoke had exploded in his face, filling his lungs and sending him into a coughing fit. A hand slapped him hard on the back — probably James' — and Professor Slughorn's voice boomed a spell that ceased the smoke billowing from Mikado's warped cauldron.

"You all right?" James asked, leaning closer to him.

Mikado's eyes were stinging; he could feel tears on his face and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I think so," he said with difficulty, his voice straining.

"What in the _world_ happened over here?" Professor Slughorn demanded. "Ryuugamine, I know you're not what one would call skilled at Potions, but even you can follow directions better than to not realize you have to grind the porcupine quills before putting them in the potion."

There were many, many things wrong with this statement, the least of which was Slughorn's gross mispronunciation of Mikado's surname. Defending himself, though, would probably do him no good — despite the fact that the explosion was Kida's fault, Slughorn would take the side of a pureblood Slytherin over a Muggle-born Gryffindor any day.

"It wasn't his fault!" James said, his voice rising in anger. " _He —_ " James waved a dismissive hand at Kida — "Banished quills at Mikado's _face_ and it ended up falling in the cauldron!"

Pureblood Gryffindor was better than Muggle-born Gryffindor, Mikado supposed, shooting James a grateful smile.

Slughorn looked at Kida. "Is that true?"

Kida was silent for a moment. "He knocked his quills all over the table. I guess I just got mad because I was distracted and — lost my temper."

Mikado looked determinedly at his hands, resting on top of the worktable.

"Well, that's unfortunate, boys. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you both detention in here cleaning and organizing the student ingredient cupboard tomorrow night."

 _No. No, no, no,_ no.

Panic welled hot in Mikado's stomach, rising in his throat. He felt like he was going to be sick. Anything, _anything_ but detention with Kida. He would go into the Forbidden Forest unsupervised to slay a werewolf first. Anything else…

"All right, everyone, class is almost over, so start clearing up your things," Slughorn was saying. "Fill a phial with a sample of your potion and bring it up to my desk, and then you can leave. I'll see you two tomorrow night at seven," he added, looking at Mikado and Kida.

—

Mikado had hyperventilated twice since he'd left Potions, and it wasn't even dinner time yet. James had taken to following him around with a paper bag.

"I'm fine," he told his friend for the hundredth time. "Really."

"You're fine _now,_ " James corrected. "But either you're going to start thinking about it again, or we're going to go to dinner and you're going to see him across the room, and you're gonna have another attack. And without your best friend James following you about, what would you do?"

"Die, probably," Mikado said, "which seems like an acceptable option at this point."

"Oh, calm down. It's one night, it's not that terrible." James ruffled his hair.

"It's just — I can't even be in his presence without feeling queasy. And I'm sure he blames me for this, and it is pathetic how much I don't want him to hate me more than he already does."

"Yeah, it is. If he thinks it's your fault, he's crazy, Mikado. You scattered them, but that was no reason for him to try to stab you in the face with them. He's just a git. I will never understand why you're so obsessed with him."

"Obsessed is… not quite the right word."

"No, I think it is. Come on, dinner'll be soon, and maybe if we get there early enough I can distract you with pie and you won't think about searching the whole hall for your boyfriend."

"Unlikely."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Don't start hyperventilating again," James instructed Mikado as they walked down the stairs from the dormitories into the Gryffindor common room.

"Right," Mikado answered mechanically. He felt dazed; the world seemed to have sped up without informing him.

"Keep your wand nearby in case he tries to hex you."

"Okay."

"If he tries to talk to you, tell him to fuck off."

"Okay. …Wait. What? No! I can't say that!"

"Sure you can. He deserves it." James patted him on the back and pushed open the portrait hole. "Don't, you know, get in a fist fight with him or anything."

Mikado gave James a skeptical look. "If there is a fist fight, I won't be the one to initiate it."

"…True. Well, see you. If you don't come back, I'll assume you died a noble death."

"Thanks," Mikado said dryly, climbing out into the corridor. "Bye."

The walk to the dungeons felt six times shorter than it usually did, Mikado thought when he found himself standing outside Professor Slughorn's office. He hadn't walked any faster than usual. It must have been the whole world-speeding-up thing. He hoped it wasn't a permanent change.

He pushed open the door. Slughorn was at his desk, a stack of papers next to him. Mikado was relieved to see that Kida hadn't arrived yet. Maybe the universe had decided to show him some mercy for once and Kida's detention had been rescheduled.

Slughorn looked up as Mikado edged into the room. "Evening, Ryuugamine," he said gruffly.

"Good evening, sir," Mikado replied. "Er — should I start, or…?"

"No, we'll wait for Kida to get here, and then I'll explain what you're doing tonight."

Mikado's stomach flipped at the mention of Kida. "O-okay then."

"You know, Ryuugamine, if you have any hope of getting into the NEWT-level, you're going to have to get outside practice. Are you interested in taking Potions next year?"

"Er — well, sir, to be honest I've sort of been looking for careers that won't require a Potions NEWT…"

"No reason for that, Ryuugamine. From what I hear you've got enough talent in other subjects to excel in just about anything. What are you interested in?"

Mikado took a seat at a table near Slughorn's desk. He hesitated. Slughorn had never been this nice to him. "I… I've always sort of wanted to be a Healer, but that… requires NEWT-level Potions."

"Well, there you are. No reason to give up a dream if achieving it will just take a little extra study. Kida's the best in your year at Potions, as you're probably aware, and I think you'd do much better if he tutored you."

The panicked sensation he'd felt earlier came back as suddenly and painfully as a punch to the stomach. "S-sir — I — since Kida and I are in different Houses, wouldn't it be easier if… er… if James tutored me?"

Slughorn raised an eyebrow. "Potter's all right in the class, son, but he's not at the same level as Kida. Besides, I've had him tutor students before when they were struggling, and he's got a knack for it, I think."

Mikado closed his eyes, took a deep breath. "Is… is it required, sir?"

"Required, no. I highly recommend it, though." Slughorn frowned at him. "This isn't about House rivalry, is it? I'm well aware Slytherin and Gryffindor don't get along, but — "

"No, no, nothing like that," Mikado said quickly. "It — it's more… personal… But I'll — I'll consider it."

"Good man. Ah, here's Kida now."

"Hello, sir," Kida greeted, pushing the door closed behind him.

"Evening. All right, boys, come on over here." Slughorn forced himself up out of his chair and waddled over to the student cupboard. "Take everything out — just put it on the tables for now — and clean the inside, the shelves and all. No magic." He waved his wand and conjured a bucket of soapy water and two washcloths. "After that's done, go through the ingredients, and — " He reached into the cupboard and grabbed two glass containers of dried billywig stings, both half-full. He opened one container and poured its contents into the other container. "To maximize the space," he explained. "Put the ingredients in alphabetical order. Neatly. Make it look pretty."

Kida and Mikado nodded.

"I'm going to go have a chat with Professor McGonagall," he said, walking toward the door. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you finish before then, start reorganizing the books. And _no magic,"_ he added. "I'll know."

The door closed. Kida and Mikado looked at each other uncertainly.

"Let's get started, then," Kida murmured, tugging a box off the top shelf.

"I — " Mikado's voice faltered, but he forced himself to keep talking. "I want to… apologize. For yesterday."

Kida blinked. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have — I could've actually hurt you."

"I made you uncomfortable," Mikado blurted. He flushed. "Because I was…"

"Staring at me, yeah." Kida shrugged. "Well, with my good looks, I can't blame a person for staring. Are you gonna help out here?" He waved at the cupboard.

"R-right, sorry." Mikado bowed his head and started pulling things out of the cupboard. He'd seen a glimpse of the old Kida then, the Kida who had been his best friend… He felt like something had wrapped around his heart and squeezed. Hard.

He glanced at the boy beside him. _Why do I miss you so much…?_

"Professor Slughorn said — " Mikado hesitated. Why was he saying this? "He said, um, that he was thinking… you could tutor me."

Kida paused and looked sideways at Mikado. "…He did?"

"Y-yeah. I — I didn't think you'd want to so I didn't — I just, I guess he'll probably talk to you about it…"

"…Right. I mean. If you need help, then…"

Mikado blinked. "You… would?"

Kida shrugged.

They looked at each other for a long moment before Mikado sighed. "Kida-kun…"

Kida blinked, then laughed. "Don't hear honorifics very often here. It took me a moment to register that."

Mikado smiled. "I remember first year we were both calling everyone by their surnames with honorifics. They thought we were insulting them."

"Took ages to break the habit." Kida grinned. "How… how are you, Mikado?"

"That's… a difficult question. I'm okay, for the most part." Mikado felt his cheeks go a bit pink. "I miss you."

Kida looked away. "I'm sorry. About what happened. I just…"

"I know. Your family." Mikado couldn't help the note of bitterness in his voice.

"Not… just that. It's partly… well, you're in Gryffindor, and I'm in Slytherin, and… I got a lot of crap, you know? Being best friends with a Gryffindor. I figured you did too."

"Not really. James used to tease me about it, but he stopped when his little brother was Sorted into Slytherin."

"Al?"

"Yeah." Mikado pursed his lips. "I don't _care_ about that, though. I didn't then and I don't now."

"I don't really either, I just — I didn't want things to be harder on you than they had to be."

Mikado blinked. "You thought losing my best friend would be easier for me than suffering the occasional snide comment?"

"…Well, when you put it like that, it sounds stupid."

"It _is_ stupid. Masaomi, I don't need to be protected. You could have _talked_ to me about this instead of just shutting me out because you thought it was for my own good…"

"I — I'm sorry." Kida ran a hand through his hair. "I'm an idiot."

Mikado was startled when Kida's arms wrapped around his shoulders. He hugged back hesitantly, his heart thudding in his chest. It seemed to Mikado like the world snapped back into place.

"I miss you too," Kida murmured. "I — I made a promise to you and I broke it. I'm so sorry."

Mikado didn't have to ask what promise Kida was referring to. "It's okay. I'm just glad things can go back to normal now."

"Ah — I don't know," Kida said uneasily, detaching himself from Mikado. "My friends, they — they wouldn't get it… And my dad would probably disown me…"

"O-oh." Mikado took a shuddery breath. "Well — we wouldn't have to tell anyone — we could say you're tutoring me in Potions because Professor Slughorn asked you to…"

"Y-yeah. Yeah, okay." Kida smiled at him, and Mikado's breath caught. "Oh — we should probably finish this."

Mikado blinked and looked at the piles of ingredients strewn across the worktables. "Oh! Of course. So — how have you been?"

"All right. Classes are easy enough, though you probably remember that I'm pants at Herbology, and that hasn't changed at all."

Mikado grinned. "I do remember. Particularly second year, when you we did Mandrakes and you took your earmuffs off because you thought Professor Longbottom was just exaggerating."

"Oi, no embarrassing stories! That's not fair. I'll start talking about all the cauldrons you've destroyed over the past four years." Kida ruffled his hair.

They talked more than they worked over the next hour and a half, and Mikado thought that even if things couldn't be like they used to, it was worth it to have his best friend back.


	4. Backtrack Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Tutoring? _Tutoring?"_

Mikado looked at his plate, carefully avoiding James' horrified expression. "Professor Slughorn's making me. It's all right, though, don't worry."

"It's all right? What do you mean, it's all right? How long is it going to be for?"

"I've no idea. Until my performance improves, I suppose."

"But — but what's the likelihood that'll even happen?"

Mikado shot him a glare.

"Okay, I'm sorry, that was mean." James had the decency to look a bit sheepish. "I just don't understand how you're so calm. Yesterday you were hyperventilating at the mere thought of being in a room with him for two hours."

"I don't know. It wasn't so bad last night, really. We talked to each other civilly, at least."

"Yeah, well, not like he could be rude to you in front of Slughorn." Mikado didn't bother to tell him that Slughorn had left early. "I bet he's waiting to get you alone so he can hex you or do some evil Slytherin ritual on you."

"Evil Slytherin ritual?"

"Yeah, you know, take you down to the Chamber of Secrets and make you drink basilisk blood or something."

"Kida-kun doesn't know Parseltongue."

"He _says_ he doesn't."

—

Kida caught his hand as he made to stir the potion. "No, no, see — start here, and — all right, but you do it too slowly. Just go at a normal pace."

Mikado nodded and tried again, speeding the movement of his hand a bit. "Is that better?"

"Perfect. Twice more, there you go. What's next, then?"

Mikado glanced at the textbook. "The salamander blood now." He carefully measured out the appropriate amount and poured it into the potion, then picked up the stirring stick.

"See? You're doing fine. What is it you always have trouble with?"

"Oh, I don't know. There's so many tiny factors that go into making a good potion, I just can't seem to ever remember them all. Stirring at the right pace and the right number of times and the right direction, checking the temperature every other minute…"

"Understandable. Not everyone can be gifted like me."

Mikado rolled his eyes. "I'm staggered by your brilliance."

"Yes, yes, I know, you needn't tell me. You know, since you're always admiring my beauty during class — "

"There is not a _bit_ of truth in that statement," Mikado protested.

Kida ignored him. "I should give you hand signals every time you need to do something that requires more thought than the usual. Hold them up like this when you need to slow down — " He demonstrated. "Tap the desk or something to tell you to turn the heat down, things like that."

"Well, that won't do me any good," Mikado pointed out. "I'll not learn to do it without being told to that way."

"It'll become habit eventually."

"'Eventually' is all well and good, but I need to be able to pull of an E on the O.W.L.s, which isn't that far away."

"Right, right." Kida mussed his hair. "Well, that means we just have to double our study sessions, doesn't it?"

Mikado grinned. "Yeah."

"Christmas is coming up, but you should keep practicing on your own. Unless it would completely ruin your holiday, in which case I suppose you don't _have_ to."

"…Masaomi, we live down the street from each other."

Kida shifted uncomfortably. "I dunno. You can't come over to my place, and — I can't imagine your family's too fond of me, and even if they wouldn't mind my dad would probably be suspicious if I just disappeared…"

"Oh. I guess." Mikado turned his attention back to the potion. "It's almost time for the powdered Griffin claw, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Kida grabbed his shoulder gently. "Mikado, it's not that I don't want to."

Mikado didn't say anything, just reached for the dish of whitish powder. He glanced at the book for further direction and proceeded to sprinkle the powder into the cauldron.

"Because I do," Kida went on.

"Then _come,_ " Mikado said, hating the note of desperation in his voice. "Your father doesn't have to know, I certainly won't be the one to tell him — I'll warn my family you're coming, explain things to them — "

"And then they'll hate me even more because they'll think that I've put my father's bigotry above our friendship — "

"Haven't you?" Mikado regretted this as soon as he said it. There was a pained look on Kida's face.

"No. No, of course not. That's not my intention." He paused. "Despite how it seems."

Mikado bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I… I'm probably massively stupid and a right prat, and _I_ should be the one apologizing."

"I shouldn't have said that, though."

Kida shrugged. "It makes sense that you're frustrated. I'm not being fair to you."

"Well — I knew what I was getting into as well, so don't take all the blame." Mikado picked up his stirring stick and dunked it into the potion, dragging it through the watery mixture idly. "Ah — how many times do I have to stir it?"

"Twenty, then go counterclockwise once, then another twenty and another counterclockwise stir."

Mikado nodded, amazed that Kida knew without having to look at the textbook at all.

"I suppose," Kida said, "I could stop by for a bit on Christmas Eve. My father won't notice if I slip out as long as I'm back by dinner."

Mikado couldn't help his wide grin. "Really?"

"Yeah." Kida gave him a mischievous smile. "I wouldn't deprive you of the great Kida Masaomi for a whole month. The occasional clandestine rendezvous is practically necessary for you to survive the holiday with your sanity in tact."

"Certainly. They'd have to cart me off to St. Mungo's."

"And then who would tutor me in Herbology?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'd find some poor classmate to intimidate."

"Intimidate," Kida scoffed. "I've no idea what you're talking about. If anyone is ever intimidated by me, it's because they simply can't handle my charm."

"I see."

—

The last few weeks of term passed in a blur, and soon it was Christmas Eve. Mikado's grandparents had come to stay with them, and the family was gathered in the sitting room mugs of hot cocoa in everyone's laps and the smell of roast chicken drifting in from the kitchen.

The doorbell rang.

"Who in the world would that be?" his mother said, setting her drink aside and starting to stand.

"Don't get up, Mum," Mikado said quickly. "I'll get it." He hurried down the hall to the front door and pulled it open, smiling.

"Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas," Kida replied. There was a gift under one arm and a tray of fir tree-shaped mochi cakes under the other.

"You didn't have to bring anything," Mikado said, leading him to the kitchen.

"I thought if I was going to impose I should have offerings." He grinned.

"Mikado!" his mother called from the living room. "What are you doing?"

"Just a minute, Mum!" Mikado yelled back.

"Should I switch over to Japanese, then?" Kida asked, setting the tray on the kitchen counter. "I haven't used it much lately, I'm probably a bit rusty."

"Well, my grandparents are here, and they don't know a word of English, so it'd probably be best. Come on."

"Ah, Mikado, who was at the door?" his mother asked when they entered the sitting room. She blinked. "…Kida-kun?"

"H-hello." Kida looked at Mikado and shifted uncomfortably. "You didn't tell them I was coming?"

"Er… no. I'll explain later. Grandma, Grandpa, this is Kida Masaomi, a friend from school. He lives down the road."

"Nice to meet you," Kida said with a shallow bow. "Good to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Ryuugamine."

"This is certainly an unexpected visit," Mrs. Ryuugamine said

Mr. Ryuugamine nodded a bit stiffly. "It's been quite a while, Kida-kun."

"Y-yes, sir."

"All the more reason to catch up," Mikado said uncertainly. "Masaomi brought mochi!"

"I made it myself, so eat it at your own risk," Kida said with a nervous chuckle.

"We're having dinner early, do you want to stay?"

"It smells delicious, but I shouldn't, the house-elves will have dinner on by now."

"Oh, all right, then. Well, I — I've got your gift in my room, so do you want to come up?"

"Yes please," Kida said gratefully, looking relieved to get away from the adults.

" _Why_ didn't you tell them I was coming?" he demanded as they ascended the stairs.

"I thought they might say you couldn't come," Mikado said apologetically. "But I knew they were too polite to kick you out of the house, so…"

"Evil genius, you are, but if that wasn't one of _the_ most awkward experiences of my life, I'll eat my own underpants."

"Please don't."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kida shoved the beautifully wrapped gift into Mikado's hands with an eager grin. "Go on then, open it."

Mikado laughed. "No rush, let me get yours. It's not something terribly elaborate and expensive, is it? You always used to get me the most outrageous birthday gifts, and I'd love them of course but then I'd feel a bit guilty."

"It's _not_ terribly elaborate an expensive, for once, but I never meant for you to feel guilty, you should've said something."

"Oh, it was mostly me being silly, I suppose. I think the guilty part was knowing I couldn't get you something equally as elaborate and expensive, really."

"Your gifts were so _cute_ though. You would insist on being an enormous sap one hundred percent of the time."

"Hush." Mikado knelt down and stuck his arm under the bed, feeling around. "Ah, there it is!" He resurfaced with a neatly wrapped, perfectly square box. "Here. You go first."

Kida took it tore at the wrapping until he was left with a plain cardboard box, the flaps on top folded closed. He pulled them open and stared into the box.

"And you _still_ insist on being an enormous sap one hundred percent of the time, I see." Kida lifted the picture frame out of the box. "I can hardly believe we used to be this tiny."

Picture-Kida had his arm slung around Picture-Mikado's shoulders, both of them looking at the camera with flushed faces awestruck smiles. Kida remembered this, Mikado's mother begging them for a picture, Mikado looking embarrassed. He remembered his parents standing a few feet away, sneering.

"Do you like it?" Mikado said uncertainly.

"Yeah, of course I do. I've always wanted a Muggle photograph, they're wicked. And every time I look at it I imagine I'll get all nostalgic remembering what a snot-nosed brat I was."

"Oh, you weren't," Mikado said, chuckling.

"I was much better behaved around you, trust me. You were a good influence. I was an absolute _terror_ for my parents, but they deserved it." Kida laid the picture gently back in the box and reached for his gift to Mikado.

"Now I feel inadequate. Mine's not sappy at all _or_ elaborate and expensive."

"None of which criteria are actually required for a good gift, you know. 'Thoughtful' is always good, though."

"It may or may not be thoughtful. I'm not really good at these sorts of things if they're not elaborate and expensive."

"I'm going to start counting the number of times those two words have coincided during this conversation."

"What do you think it's been so far? Five? Six? A hundred and fifty?"

"Somewhere around there." Mikado tugged the bow so it unraveled, then lifted the top off the box. "Oh! It's — "

"A hedgehog," Kida explained. "Go on, pick her up."

"It's a girl?" Mikado picked up the tiny creature, bringing her to eye level. "She's _adorable,_ " he breathed.

"Isn't she? I've been taking care of her since term ended. One of my dorm mates' baby sister has a pet hedgehog who had babies in October, and I said I'd like to keep a couple. I've got her brother at home."

Mikado stroked her head gently. He raised an eyebrow at Kida. "You don't call this elaborate?"

"Well, maybe a bit."

"You realize you were keeping the poor thing in a box with no ventilation, don't you? She could've suffocated."

"Mikado, honestly, what do you take me for? We're wizards, if you'd forgotten, and the box is enchanted. She was fine."

"Ah, right. I've never used magic enchanted boxes for Christmas gifts before." He looked in the box again; there was also a small bag of kitten food and a water dish.

"I've got an extra cage at home too, but it was a bit big to carry over with the other things," Kida explained.

"Thank you. She's perfect. What shall I name her?"

"Dunno."

"What'd you name yours?"

Kida grinned sheepishly. "Er. Mikado."

Mikado blinked. "You named your hedgehog after me?"

"Well, yeah. Since we can't see each other that often during school, I thought — you know. This way I'd always have you around."

Mikado's heart skipped a beat in his chest. Before he had time to think about what he was doing, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

Kida froze and jerked away. "What are you — "

"I — I just — I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that — "

"Look, I — I'm not — like that."

"R-right, of course. Of course you aren't. I just — it was just, I just wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, I won't ever do anything like that again — "

"I'm just going to — I'm gonna go, okay? …See you." Kida practically scurried out of the room, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

Mikado watched him leave helplessly.

"God," he murmured. "I've ruined everything, haven't I?" He leaned against his bed, looking at the hedgehog still perched in his palm, blinking up at him curiously. "Would you mind being named Masaomi, even though you're a girl?"

She blinked again.

"I think I've effectively lost the first Masaomi. For the second time." He sighed. "He'll probably never speak to me again, too scared I'll try to jump him when he's looking the other way."

Masaomi butted at his hand affectionately.

"Perhaps I can stay with Jamie for the last week of holidays. He'd like to meet you, I bet, and he's quite skilled at forcing me into a good mood…"

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

James slung an arm around his shoulder as soon as Mikado stepped out of the fireplace.

"Mikado! Glad to see you've made it one piece."

" _I have_ used the floo before," Mikado pointed out. "Where is everyone? I want to thank your dad for hooking up our fireplace for the day."

James dusted off the front of his jumper. "You're a right mess. Dad's still at work, but I'm not sure where anyone is. I think Lily's helping Mum with the laundry and Al's probably snogging Scorpius upstairs — "

"Al's right here," Al said, coming into the kitchen, Scorpius Malfoy trailing behind him. "And not snogging anyone, clearly."

"Anymore," Scorpius said, snickering. Al smacked his arm.

"Prat."

Scorpius just grinned and kissed his cheek.

Mikado blinked. "This… this is new, isn't it?"

"Oh, well, sort of. It's hush-hush at school, not that they're very good at hiding it, but Al invited Scorpius over for hols and Dad walked in on them and… well, needless to say Dad hasn't been able to look Al in the eye for weeks."

"Oh, it's not as if we were _shagging,_ " Al said impatiently.

"And you better not be, you're fourteen," James scolded.

"You sound like Mum. Stop it."

James ruffled his hair. "So now these two have lost all inhibition and can't keep their hands off each other, and the rest of us are left to suffer."

"Well, since Al's coming back to mine with me tomorrow, we need to get our feels in when we can. If Dad catches us he'll probably tie us to chairs and lock us up at opposite ends of the mansion."

James laughed. "You should've _seen_ Mr. Malfoy. He came over 'cause Dad asked him to, and when Scorpius told him — he nearly fainted, and then he said if Scorpius was going to date a boy he could at least have the self-respect not to pick a Potter."

"Well that's not a very nice thing to say," Mikado said.

"He and Dad _hated_ each other back when they were in school," Al explained. "But you know, it's actually part of the fun of dating Scorpius, getting to piss our parents off."

"Conniving Slytherin," James said affectionately.

"Bull-headed Gryffindor."

"Oi!" James punched his brother lightly on the arm. "Come on, Mikado, let's get your things upstairs. You picked the right time to visit, seeing as Al will be gone tomorrow. Little brat."

Al stuck his tongue out at James, and Mikado chuckled.

"I'm sort of envious of you," he told James as they lugged his trunk up the stairs. "I've always wanted siblings."

"Be grateful you're an only child, it's hell having siblings. Between giving Al his regular beatings and keeping Lily away from boys, I have no me time. It's exhausting, being the eldest."

"So how, then, has it completely escaped your notice that Lily's taken up with Lorcan Scamander?"

James blinked. "What? Aunt Luna's kid? Freaky little Ravenclaw? Merlin. I'll have to have a talk with her. I need at least _one_ normal in-law." They dropped Mikado's suitcase on the floor of James' bedroom. "So. You gonna tell me what's going on?"

Mikado nodded. "I think you might want to hit me, just as a warning." _But after that exchange with Albus I'm less worried about your reaction…_ "Well — when I got detention with Masaomi, we sort of… made up. But he didn't want to tell anyone because his dad would've found out and… well, it wouldn't have been good."

"Mikado, really."

"I know, I know. So — we kept up for the rest of term, and then over break he came over for the day, on Christmas Eve, and we exchanged gifts and what have you, and — oh, that reminds me." Mikado opened a compartment on his suitcase that had been magically enlarged and pulled out a box. "Meet Masa-chan." He removed the box's lid and lifted a young hedgehog out.

"That's what he got you for Christmas?" James said disbelievingly. "Bit extreme, isn't it?"

"Masaomi doesn't really do anything but extreme, when it comes to gifts." _And, well, anything else, really._ "Apparently he got Masa-chan from someone in his dorm, and he kept one for himself as well." Mikado paused. "Which he named after me."

James raised an eyebrow. "I think he's a bit bent for you, mate."

"One _might_ think that, mightn't one. But, well. He's not."

"How do you know?"

"Because I… kissed him. And then he ran out of my house like it was on fire."

James blinked. "Oh. Ohh. Well, this explains a great many things." He patted Mikado on the shoulder. "You know, I still think he's bent for you. Those rich pureblood nutters are all obsessed with carrying on the family line and whatnot, he probably just doesn't want to admit it because you can't have his babies or something."

"I don't know if I should be comforted or not."

—

He dropped dejectedly down into a seat next to James at the Gryffindor table, forking a bit of roast chicken onto to his plate and poking at it.

"What'd Slughorn want to speak to you about?" James asked. "…Hey. You all right?"

"Masaomi told him that he wanted to cancel our tutoring sessions and could Professor Slughorn please tell me because he couldn't find any time when our schedules coincided." Mikado's teeth were gritted. He couldn't remember feeling so _angry_ in all his life.

"Christ," James muttered. "Come on, you're obviously not in a mood to eat, let's go back to the tower."

"You're in the middle of dinner," Mikado protested.

"I'm fine, I'm full. Let's go."

"Cowardly bloody Slytherins," James said as they left the Great Hall. "I'm ashamed to have a brother in that House."

"It's just — it's just that we were _friends_ and it was _fine_ and he said he _missed_ me and, and it's understandable to feel awkward that I fancy him, I really don't blame him for that, but — but isn't this going a little far?"

"It's going a lot far," James growled.

—

By dinner the next night, Mikado had been pushed down in the corridors no less than four times. Every one of his assailants, James pointed out to him, was a Slytherin.

The first didn't say anything, but the next two called him a poof, and the last told him to keep his faggotry to himself.

"I don't understand," he said miserably as he and James took places at the Gryffindor table. "How do they know?"

"How do you _think_ they know, Mikado?" James snapped. "That bastard _told_ everyone, probably made up a story about how you cornered him when we got back from hols and tried to molest him or something else as ridiculous. I swear to God, I'm going to wring his stupid little _neck._ "

"He wouldn't. I… he wouldn't, Jamie, I know it. They must have found out some other way."

James snorted disbelievingly. "If you want to think so."

—

He didn't want to leave Mikado to walk back from Potions alone — God knew there were probably Slytherin bastards lying in wait to attack him — but James knew that he needed to talk to Kida, to whom he now privately referred to as His Royal Git, when Mikado wouldn't know. So he claimed he needed to stay behind to clean up, told Mikado to go on without him, and caught Kida on the way out.

" _What._ "

"Your attitude is unappreciated, especially when you're the one who deserves to be looked out like you're something I've found on the bottom of my shoe." James gave him a murderous look which he hoped conveyed 'And if you're not careful, I _will_ find you on the bottom of my shoe.'

Kida looked at him for a long minute, eyes narrowed. "Mikado told you, then."

"Of course he bloody told me, he was near heartbroken, but that's not what this is about."

"Just what the hell else have I done then?" Kida snapped, wrenching his arm out of James' grasp.

"What else have you _done?_ Are you _serious?_ Told all your mates he's in love with you and then got them harassing him _all the time_ — "

Kida blinked. "What? Wait — wait, what are you talking about?"

James paused. "Since yesterday, loads of Slytherins, big bloody surprise, have been pushing Mikado down in the halls and calling him awful names, and I'm really curious to know what's got them thinking he's gay if you haven't told them."

"I have _absolutely_ no idea, I swear to God, but I would _never_ tell anyone that!"

"Yeah, well. Find out who did, then, because I need to give them a swift kick up the arse." James shook his head. "God, you know, I get a lot of shit from my brother about how Gryffindors are all brawn and no brains and we'd never hold up against you lot in a battle of wits, but at least we aren't cowards. At least we aren't so concerned with family and inheritance and saving face that we fuck up friendships and hurt people we care about."

"I'm _so sorry_ I'm concerned with being kicked out of my home — "

James rolled his eyes. "You don't even realize it, do you? You feel exactly the same about Mikado as he does about you, you're just too damn chicken to admit it to yourself. You named your bloody hedgehog after him and told him it was so he'd always be with you, for Merlin's sake!"

Kida opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, then repeated this a few more times before he finally said, in a faint voice, "He told you about that?"

" _Urgh,_ you are so infuriating, I've _no idea_ what Mikado sees in you. You just — you just mull all this over, and I'm going to go make sure Mikado hasn't been ambushed by your lackeys."

James was quite pleased to see that little stunned look on Kida's face. "Don't forget to find out who's spreading rumors about Mikado," he called over his shoulder. "And if you aren't inclined to rearrange their face, I _might_ believe you aren't queer for him."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Bloody — pull the _damn_ curtains if you're going to — "

"You don't even _live_ here, what the fuck do you care what we do with the curtains open — "

Kida shielded his eyes. "Just — just put some clothes on, will you, I need to talk to you."

"I don't think I've ever even _spoken_ to you," Albus snapped. Kida heard some shuffling as the boys rose from Scorpius' bed, then footfalls and a slam. "We had our pants on, you bloody nonce, you can stop covering your eyes."

Kida removed his hand from his face hesitantly. "Right. …We _have_ spoken. I'm pretty sure you've asked me to pass the jam at breakfast before."

"Oh dear, what a milestone in our relationship, how _could_ I have forgotten. Please get out."

"Now, now, Al, hear the man out. He looks distressed."

"You're a good man, Scorpius Malfoy." Kida laid a hand on Scorpius' shoulder. "A good man and an Englishman. Have either of you two heard rumors going around about a certain Gryffindor being — er — disinclined toward the opposite sex?"

"Oh, _I_ see," Albus "You're coming to the _queers_ for this information."

"No, no! It's just — well, James told me in the first place, and — "

"James? James _spoke_ to you of his own free will? He _hates_ you."

"Yes," Kida murmured, "he made that quite clear."

"You're talking about R-Ru — the Japanese kid, right? The other one, I mean. After dinner a couple nights ago that girl in your year, Saki something — she came into the common room saying she'd heard him talking about fancying a bloke." Scorpius fixed Kida with a knowing look. "It's you, isn't it?"

"Presumably."

" _You're_ what had Mikado so miserable over Christmas? He was moping about like he had a month to live or something."

"I didn't _mean_ to — anyway! So it was Saki then?"

"As far as I know, yeah. There are a grand total of _three_ Japanese people at this school, and _all_ of you are involved in this. It is too odd to be coincidence."

"Must be," Kida said. "Thanks. You can go back to your half-naked snogging now."

"You've utterly ruined the mood," Kida heard Albus shout just as he shut the door to their dormitory.

Saki, conveniently, was in the common room, leaning back in an armchair with one long leg hooked over the other and a sixth year boy in the chair next to her. Kida thought it looked like she'd conned the poor boy into doing her homework for her. He gritted his teeth and walked over to her.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"Of course," she said in Japanese. "What's wrong?"

"For Christ's — you're not even _from_ — _urgh._ Come on, then, out — out into the corridor or something."

"Ooh, Kida-kun, out in public, how naughty of you."

" _You_ learned honorifics from _me._ Your _parents_ don't even speak Japanese, you know about thirty words, so — never mind. Just never mind." He stepped into the hallway. "Why did you go telling everybody about Mikado?"

Saki blinked. "Why on earth do you _care?_ I know you used to be friends with him, God knows why, but you've not spoken in ages."

"That's none of your business and anyway it's completely off the point. Why did you do it?"

She shrugged. "Thought it'd be funny. And I ask again, _why_ do you care?"

"You thought it'd be _funny_ to spread rumors about someone to a load of people you knew would have no qualms tormenting him over it? Apparently people keep pushing him around on the way to class and — "

"I get it," Saki said suddenly. "I _get_ it. You _fancy_ him."

"I never said that! We're — we _were_ friends, and I'm _worried_ about him."

"Whatever you say." Saki smirked.

"Let me guess, another crap story for the Daily Hogwarts Enquirer, is it. I don't _care_ anymore, and you can tell that to the whole bloody school if you like. I'm going to find Mikado."

Just as Kida started to stalk away from her, James Potter skidded around the corner, running as if his life depended upon it. He caught Kida by the shoulders.

"What in _God's_ name — "

"Mikado — hospital wing — bloody _fucking_ Slytherin bastards — I was only _joking_ when I said I wanted to make sure he'd not been ambushed, for Merlin's — "

"You're joking," Kida said weakly, his heart hammering in his chest. "Please, _please_ tell me that you are just using this to scare me into not being a prat, _please —_ "

"You do not understand," James panted, "how much I wish that were the case. He's — he's all right, I _suppose,_ he's banged up and his ankle's sprained and he's got a black eye and a bruised rib, and I swear on my life, you bastard, if you're responsible for this I will break every bone in your _body."_

"The responsible party," Kida said, "is standing behind me. I'm — I'm going to go see him, if you don't think I'd just upset him." He looked behind him and saw Saki starting back toward the entrance to the dungeon. He pulled out his wand.

" _Petrificus Totalus!_ "

She crashed to the floor, arms glued to her sides.

"I'm trusting you to hex the daylights out of her," he told James, who grinned.

"No worries. I'm going to be in detention for the rest of my _life,_ but it will be worth it."

"Unbind her first, it's not very sporting otherwise."

"Oh, of course. We're going to have a good clean duel, don't you concern yourself."

"Right," Kida said uncertainly. "Well. I'm off then."

"Oi," James called as he started down the corridor. "…You considered what I said?"

Kida paused. "I don't know. I really — well, I'll probably find out."

"Right."

—

Mikado pushed himself up gingerly, cringing at the pain in his abdomen. The potion Madam Pomfrey had given him apparently hadn't kicked in yet. But he was being impatient; she'd only given it to him twenty minutes before.

He looked at the bandages around his wrist, dabbed at the paste spread around his eye. He sighed. All this for something that nobody in the Muggle world even thought twice about anymore. He'd known that the lack of necessity for technology had put wizards behind in that area, but he had never realized their beliefs were likewise stuck in the nineteenth century.

The door to the hospital wing opened, and Mikado's eyes widened when he saw a dyed blonde head poke inside.

"Masaomi…?"

"Mikado," Kida said, the word inside a breath of relief. "You look all right. Thank goodness. What's that gunk on your eye?"

"For the bruise," he explained mechanically. He felt dazed. "What… what are you… how did you even know?"

"James told me. Came barreling down the hall, and now I'm pretty sure he's cursing the person responsible into oblivion."

"He's — what? The person responsible?"

"Saki Mikajima, you remember her, don't you? From what Scorpius told me, she overheard you saying something about — er — fancying a boy, and she saw fit to tell the whole damn world about it."

"…Oh." Mikado blinked. "You talked to Scorpius?"

"And Albus. James — well, he thought I was the one who'd told everyone, and he cornered me after Potions today and told me what had been going on. Obviously I wanted to find out what in hell was going on, so I found Scorpius and Al — walked in on them in the middle of trying to eat each other's faces off, by the way, and I'm scarred for life — "

Mikado smothered his laughter behind his hand.

"And he said Saki had come in spouting off the night before last. But — well, anyway. I have been an idiot. An enormous, self-centered, inconsiderate idiot, and you should hate me."

Mikado smiled softly. "It would probably make my life easier. Unfortunately I have been trying to hate you for about three years, to no avail." He frowned. "I'm sorry I've made you feel awkward, but I — I didn't mean to ruin things, and I feel awful for it. I just… do you think there's any way we could still be friends?"

Kida felt something in his chest squeeze. " _You_ are apologizing to _me._ This is the opposite of okay. I should be on my knees begging for you to take me back."

"I'm the one who had to go and confess my love to you when you obviously don't… you know."

"Mikado," he said slowly, "I named my pet hedgehog after you so I would always have you with me."

"…I… know?"

" _Anyone_ would think — " Kida paused. "I — oh. _Oh._ …Do you know, I think something in my brain just completely snapped. In a good way," he added quickly. "In a way that — well, when I was talking to Saki, I — I said I didn't care. If she told people things that, that were wrong or maybe not as wrong as I thought they were, but — but it was true. I _don't_ care anymore. About my inheritance, about what my parents think, about whether or not I'm disowned, about how much I'm going to have to deal with other people's stupidity — it doesn't matter. The last three years have been nearly unbearable and there was this perfect couple of months where I had you back and I was actually happy again, and then — then you kissed me and I was bloody terrified all over again for all the same reasons as before, about my dad and about being in Slytherin and you being in Gryffindor and —"

Kida realized he was rambling. "But — but like I said, I don't care anymore. It's really — really sort of liberating. I don't think I've ever been this… clear. Clear-headed, I mean. Everything's just — it all makes sense."

Mikado's expression was unreadable. "What… what are you trying to say?"

Kida sat on the edge of Mikado's hospital bed, trying not to jar him. "I don't want to have to name pets after you so I'll always have you with me. I want… I want _you_ to be with me, always." His eyes searched Mikado's for understanding, and when he found it — a lightening of his expression, a spark of something like hope — he leaned forward and caught Mikado's lips with his own.

It felt different from the first kiss — no shock, no confusion, no fear, not anymore. He threaded his fingers through Mikado's hair and pulled him closer, and a hand covered in bandages found its way to Kida's cheek.

When they broke apart, Mikado's cheeks were flushed, his lips pinker than usual, his teeth worrying at his lower lip. "Are you sure? You're _really_ sure? Because — Masaomi, you know your dad, and — "

"My dad is a berk. I have known it for my entire life, and you've known it since you've known me. It's not as if I'm untalented, and Professor Slughorn's got to be close to retirement — I think I'd like teaching Potions."

"You'd be good at it," Mikado offered.

"The point is — the point is, knowing you got hurt and really _thinking_ that I — I could _lose_ you, I just can't — you're a thousand times more important than a bank account at Gringotts and a big house. I bloody _hate_ that house."

Mikado let his head drop onto Kida's shoulder. "It's going to be difficult for you, though."

"Well, since I'm giving up my fortune for you, how about you take responsibility for kicking my arse when I need it and we'll say we're even."

Mikado grinned. "Deal," he said, and leaned in for another kiss.


End file.
